I'm a 1990's kid, and during that time, no one was gay in my world.
Everyone was straight. And if you were gay, you weren't "normal". So
then what is normal?
I was gay my entire life. I know that for a fact.
Now that I think about it, I was basically living a lie during those
years. I had to act completely masculine around my friends and even my family.
I mean c'mon, I always wanted to hang out with my girl cousins more than
the boys. I wasn't into any type of sports. I enjoyed playing with my sister's
Easy Bake Oven for crying out loud. How could they not tell?
16 years
That's how long I waited to "come out".
I didn't even plan on it happening then but I'm kind of glad it did.
I invited a boy over, his name was Anthony.
He was more open with his sexuality than I was so you can tell he was
gay.
But I invited him over by lying to my mom saying him AND my best friend
Mercedes were coming over.
So we hung out for a bit and when he left, this is what happened:
Mom: "Is he gay?"
Me: "...yeah. Why?"
Mom: "Oh. You should start inviting girls over so people don't
think you're gay."
Me: "Ok mom"
I really didn't pay any mind to what she said, cause like I said; I
wasn't planning on telling her anytime soon.
I headed to the bathroom to take a shower.
I brought my phone in with me so I can call my friend Stephanie who
convinced me to hang out with that boy. As I was talking to her the shower was
on.
My mom knocks on the bathroom door saying, "Who are you talking
to"?
I told her Stephanie.
She said, "When you're done with your shower, we need to have a
talk."
I assumed she had her head on the door to listen to what I was saying.
So when I finished taking the longest shower ever, I take my time
getting dressed putting my pj's on.
I go into the living room, and my mom was crying.
I definitely knew she knew my secret.
Mom: "Kyle do you like boys?"
Kyle: "Yes"
Mom: "Are you sure? Are you sure you're not in a phase or
confused?"
Kyle: "I like boys."
Mom: "Do you know how many people get hurt and killed for being
gay? I hope you're not going out in public and kissing guys."
I just kept silent. That was NOT how I intended me coming out to my
Mother would be like.
I wanted her to be happy. I wanted her to feel that I do not have to
keep secrets from her anymore.
Why was she pointing out all of the negatives? She also mentioned the
whole "What about grandchildren?"
If I wanted to I can adopt, or give sperm to someone who would carry my
child.
Again, why the negatives?
I think my mother was the hardest person I came out to.
Even though she made me come out to the rest of the family, they didn't
really take it how my mom did.
Don't get me wrong I love my mother to death and I know she loves me
just as much.
Years flew by and things got better.
So now that I'm 19 years old, I am out and about :)
I don't tell people I'm gay once I meet them. If we were bound to be
friends then my sexuality should have nothing to do with our friendship.
So I guess I can say I'm out the closet?
